Had a heartbreak? Here’s how you can refocus your life on the most important person – you!

Where there’s love, there’s just a little bit of heartbreak involved. Losing the love of your life can be excruciatingly painful, but life just goes on, doesn’t it? One of my friends in college (let’s call him R.) was in a relationship with one of my best friends, and things were working well with them. However, their relationship reached a breaking point when the girl wanted to focus on her dreams instead of on the relationship. Of course, I’m in no position to judge either of them but it was a difficult time for my friend. That’s what break-ups do to you. It’s quite simple for an outsider to say something like, “It’s just a break-up, pull yourself, together,” but all you really want is a shoulder to cry on.

So, my friend wanted to move on with his life. Experience life the way he had never done before. Check things off his bucket list. Travel the world. Go for a drink with his friends. Easier said than done, he would often fall into bouts of self-doubt and depression. However, by the end of the year, he had become his whole self again, ready to find love and life for a second time.

That being said, break-ups are truly not the end of the world. Of course, it hurts and it hurts terribly, but you have the choice to dust yourself up and walk on. Love is a vast book, and you simply can’t divide everything into chapters, can you? Therefore, here’s how you can overcome heartbreaks in the healthiest ways possible (that is, not drinking yourself to death) and find positivity within yourself –

Feel the pain – it’s very important

Contrary to what some people might say, it is never okay to suppress your emotions. Keeping your emotions locked up in a tiny box with the key thrown into a river can subdue the pain in you for a little while, but it won’t vanish like magic. Sometimes, you might think that you’re over this person, but all it takes one photo of them on Facebook to set the memories rolling again. It may take a long, long time to truly get over a person… and you owe yourself the kindness and time to heal yourself. Share your grief with someone whom you trust or a life coach to release the negative energy within you. Once you’ve done that, it will be easier for you to look forward with a clear vision.

Forgive them

Sometimes, all you can do is to trust the person you love… with all your heart. Now, it depends on the other person concerned to keep or break your heart. And if they don’t value the feelings that you have for them, it is always better for you to forgive them and let them go. In this case, forgiveness is not always about forgetting the damage the other person has done to you. It is more about cleansing yourself of all the grief and pain caused to your heart. Sometimes, we are not ready to see the big picture and understand that maybe the relationship was not meant to be. All it takes is “I forgive you” to clear your mind and make clear decisions.

Clean them out from all your life

First of all, you need to decide where you’re going ahead with your relationship. It’s time that you know whether you’re about to work on your ‘single’ life, or if you’re secretly nursing hopes to get back with your partner. Not that it is shocking in any way, but dreaming about your partner at night will certainly hamper your healing process. Delete their number, block their social media profiles and throw their gifts away – that’s a sign that you’ve finally thrown them out of your life.

Win back your life

Though heartbreak can literally crush you, you need to take things in your stride. You need to get all the negative energy such as grief, depression, anxiety and sadness. Though you cannot really control what your ex does or feels, you can definitely control your own feelings, thoughts and behaviour. That means you need to stop clinging to people and memories that are only going to cause you more pain. Instead, focus on your life and let go of the past. Nothing can be more therapeutic than the feeling that you’re… free.

Make a bucket list and follow it through

Are there things that you’ve always enjoyed or wanted to try before you met your partner? What would be the things that you want to try out again now that you’re living the ‘single’ life again? To set things in order, make a bucket list of things that you’ve always wanted to do. Call up a friend, treat yourself to lunch, join a yoga class, declutter your desk and closet, donate things that you no longer need and read books that will help you deal with a painful break-up.

Most importantly: you deserve to be loved. Just because one relationship didn’t work out the way you wanted it to doesn’t mean that you’re destined to be alone. It takes time to find the perfect person for yourself, and when you do, there’s no looking back. Focus on living the best life possible, so that you can share with that potential date next door!